The Introvert's Superpower to Being Charismatic
The Introvert's Superpower to Being Charismatic In most cases, you will associate CHARISMATIC people with the following traits: * Eloquent speakers * Charming personalities * People who are the center of attention with their storytelling skills at a party Definition of Charisma Vanessa Van Edwards from Science of People defines charisma as: "The perfect balance of competence + warmth." What an amazing and succinct explanation by her. I haven't read a better one!
Ankit Agarwal
4/21/20242 min read
The Introvert's Superpower to Being Charismatic
In most cases, you will associate CHARISMATIC people with the following traits:
Eloquent speakers
Charming personalities
People who are the center of attention with their storytelling skills at a party
Definition of Charisma
Vanessa Van Edwards from Science of People defines charisma as:
"The perfect balance of competence + warmth."
What an amazing and succinct explanation by her. I haven't read a better one!
Charisma for Introverts
But what if you are an introvert who likes to speak less?
Maybe you are shy by nature?
You let your actions do all the talking.
You are the silent, brooding type.
How can such people ooze charisma even if they don't have an imposing "PRESENCE?"
Unlocking Charisma
Sahil Bloom flipped the script on this in his YouTube video on unlocking charisma. He mentioned how charisma is so much more dynamic!
He says charisma is not about being eloquent.
it's more deeply rooted in one's ability to effectively listen and engage with others.
This is so powerful! I read this in a book somewhere which I can't recall:
"The second most tempting thing in the world after sex is being listened to."
He mentioned truly charismatic people aren't just heard, but they make it a point to listen.
An introvert's natural tendency to speak less can make his/her ability to listen to someone more easy.
Who does not like someone to speak one's heart out to?
Being a good listener makes you super attractive and interesting.
You probably know where this is going, but hang on, there is more !
Types of Listening
He mentions there are two types of listening:
ME listening, where one listens but is
internally directing the conversation or experience towards him or herself.For example:
ME LISTENER asks someone a question, "How was your Sunday?" SOMEONE replies, "Yes, I got up late, made some coffee, read that new mystery novel." ME LISTENER interrupts halfway, "Oh yeah, I made arabica coffee too, and then finished the book in one go. I also saw the video summary of the same on YouTube...etc."
We have all met such listeners and know how irritating this can be.
The second type of listening is "YOU LISTENING " which charismatic people do
Charismatic YOU LISTENER listens with the intent to:
Understand
Connect deeply with the speaker
Empathize with them
And do not redirect the conversation to themselves or their experiences.
This type of listening helps in building deeper connections
and making others feel valued. Such people are masters at shifting focus.
By listening genuinely to people, they make them feel as the most interesting people in the room. He mentions it's not about dominating conversations,
rather about being genuinely interested in others
which fosters deeper interactions and richer insights.
Being an introvert myself, I have often been extremely fascinated with charismatic people. Developing YOU LISTENING skills is something I can develop with ease if I put in the practice.
Link to Sahil's video below: Do check it out. It's awesome!